JUST THE FACTS

!


Totally Useless But Somewhat
Interesting Facts



With My Own Unique View In Red


The words "insane" and "insanity" are not recognized medical terms but rather legal ones.

(I think I am in a lot of legal trouble)

The bench in the middle of a Westminster parliament is 2 1/2 sword lengths long. This is to keep both the government and the opposition at least a sword's length away from each other in case of a heated debate.

(This is modern times so how long is a bullet length)

The word "freelance" comes from medieval times when a knight's lance was free for hire and not pledged to any one lord.

(Shit in modern day that would make me I'm a freeuzi writer)

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

(What's the word I'm looking for here?)

In the early 1900's, an elephant was actually tried, convicted, and hanged for murdering a politician's daughter during a circus parade.

(Dumbo The Movie based on this event was slightly changed to make it more entertaining. In the porno version Debbie Does Dunbo they don't hang the Elephant but he is well hung! )

The word "testify" originates from the Roman courts where men were known to swear on their testicles about the truth of the matter unlike our present day Bible system.

( Makes you wonder how they got the word dicktate?)

The most frequently visited foreign city by Americans is Tijuana, Mexico.

( These days we don't visit Mexico. Mexico visits us! Tujuwanna a dyob.)

The only seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters is "therein" -- the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, and herein.

(Poor Elephant, Imagine that!)

Dueling is legal in Paraguay so long as both parties are registered blood donors.

( This lead to statements like
"Oh Yeah? Wait right here I'm going to go register as a blood donor")


Knights in full armor used to raise their visors to identify themselves in the presence of their king. This custom developed into the modern military salute. In every country, the salute is with the right hand. This is because, in medieval times, only right handed people could become knights as it was assumed that left handed people were descendants of the devil himself.

(Visors had a tendency to close unexpectedly. Knights could be recognised by the broken fingers on their right hand)

In the coastal provinces of Canada it is illegal to shoot a whale from a moving automobile.

(Tourists on the other hand are fair game)

The word "sheriff" is derived from "shire reeve." In early England, each shire had a reeve who was the law for that shire. When the term was brought to the United States it was shortened to sheriff.

(The statement "Who gives a shit" quickly followed.)

In Texas, it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.

(In fact that is were they got the name "Big Mac")

Neck ties were first worn in Croatia, hence, the name cravats ( pronounced "cro-vats" ).

( How the hell do you hang an Elephant. Why didn't they just give him the electric chair )

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

(In the U.S. it might be a good idea if the President didn't speak )

A "jiffy" is an actual measurement of time (1/100th of a second ).

(Ever heard of sex in a jiffy? Settle down ladies nodding your head that quickly could give you whiplash)

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

( There are 14 dimples on Britney Spears new Ass. I counted them while watching the music Awards)

Police dogs are trained to respond to commands in a foreign language, commonly German and Hungarian. This is to prevent a suspect from stopping or taking control of the dogs.

(The whole theory falls apart if the suspect happens to be German Hungarian)

The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

(I'm not going to say it. Twinkie anyone)

If Disney's EPCOT center was a golf ball, a proportional golfer would be two miles tall.

(If that golfer farted... }

One drop of pure nicotine will kill a human.

(You mean you don't even get a drop in a whole pack. I don't know whether to be happy or offended )

Ohio is listed as the 17th state admitted to the Union, however, it is actually the 47th. Congress apparently forgot to vote on the resolution for its admittance but rectified its mistake on August 7th, 1953.

(I'm still thinking about that poor Elephant. OJ gets off but Dumbo they hang! )

Long ago, when people wanted to get rid of others who were unwanted but didn't want to kill them, they would burn down their houses in order to get the person to move on. The practice became known as "firing" the person.

( Which led to Postal Workers)

The tablet the Statue of Liberty holds is two feet thick.

(Can you imagine the size of her ass)

In Colorado, it is illegal to run over a trout with a car.

(Jail stories to tell your Grandchildren. So I'm driving in Colarodo...!)

A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

(Must of had the same lawyer as the Elephant.)

Armand Hamouth


.

No comments: